On the Proper Usage of the Contraction Y'all

It's this Southern Belle with her Yankee hubby!
He would NEVER use "y'all" incorrectly. He might say "you uns," though!

Earlier this week I received a copy of a fun, lighthearted paranormal romance in the mail. I’d won the book through a contest at another blog, so I was excited, because, hey, free book, FTW! Last night I read the book and it was charming and fluffy, but if the DH hadn’t been sick and sleeping next to me, I might have shrieked a few times and ripped the book in half. You see, dear friends, this book was written by a Yankee. I knew only a few pages into this book that it was written by a Yankee, because said Yankee managed to punch two of my Southern Belle buttons in only one chapter, bless her heart. If I were strong enough to rip a phone book in two, I probably would have done it. I don’t count my small town’s phone book, because I’ve written papers for conferences thicker than that sucker. I’m talking 3 inch thick tomes, that’s how frustrating I found this book.

What was this poor author’s mistake? 1) There is one southerner in the book and that southerner is a dumb hick from the sticks and 2) she misused the contraction y’all. I’m not going to name the author or her book, because, truthfully, I enjoyed the book and felt that overall it was well written. It’s pure bad luck that she managed to hit two of my pet peeves in one book, and really, only one is offensive, while the other merely demonstrates what can happen if your author and copy editor are both from the same region. Still, I was pretty darn ticked, and what good is a blog if you can’t write a good rant?

So let’s begin with the southern stereotyping. Some authors use the stereotype of the dumb southerner drinking moonshine and using colorful expressions straight from The Andy Griffith Show to comedic effect. Shelly Laurenston, to my knowledge, has never lived in the South, and yet her hillbilly characters are a riot. Yes, she uses the stereotypes, but her books are FUNNY, y’all. The author-we-shall-not-name, however, has only one character from the south and that character is dumb as dirt. She’s supposed to be endearing in her empty-headedness and inability to do basic math, but frankly, after years of hearing about how in the North the schools are better, the arts are better, and down South we’re all just a bunch of barefoot hicks waving confederate flags, I have little patience for this type of character. And when I think about all the beautiful southern towns I’ve lived in compared to some of the industrial cities in the North, that just chaps my hide.

I could have overlooked this character if it were not for the persistent misuse of the contraction y’all. The author-we-shall-not-name uses the contraction y’all throughout the book in place of the singular “you.” Dear friends, y’all is PLURAL. It is the contraction of the two words “you all.” You can only use y’all when you are referring to 2 or more people. You cannot address one person as y’all, that’s just wrong! This actually confused me at times, because the character would be talking to one person and address him/her as y’all, and I’d have to go back and re-read, because for Pete’s sake, WHO ELSE IS SHE TALKING TO???

Now, I understand that in the North you’ll hear the expressions “youse guys” or “you ‘uns” or even “yinz”. These, too, are plural expressions. Let’s replace the y’all in a sample conversation with youse guys to demonstrate how y’all cannot be used as the second person singular.

 

Me: Hey, Tom, youse guys have spaghetti sauce on your tie.

Tom: (looking around) It’s only me here, Rebe.

Me: Duh, that’s why I said YOUSE GUYS. Yinz should also examine your fly.

Tom: Um, I’m the only one here and I’m only wearing one pair of pants.

Me: Well, don’t forget to leave the gun and take the canoli!

This misuse of the contraction y’all drove me crazy. Seriously, if you’re going to make fun of us, at least get the vernacular right! So,that’s my rant. I could expand on the misspelling of “y’all” that I’ve seen in other books (sometimes it’s written as ya’ll – shudder), but I’ll save that for another day. Lord help the author-who-shall-not-be-named, but as God is my witness, Ah shall nevah buy her books again. Bless her heart.

Review of Shannon Stacey’s Yours to Keep

There are a couple of authors I always turn to when I need a good laugh, namely Jennifer Crusie and Shelly Laurenston, and I’ve just added another to the list: Shannon Stacey! I received a copy of her contemporary romance, Yours to Keep, from Carina Press for reviewing, and it was a hoot. Actually, it was becoming detrimental to my husband’s sleep, so I had to hide in another room to finish it so the laughter wouldn’t wake him up. The dog thought I was in some sort of distress and wandered in to see what all the noise was about, which is amusing since we’ve had pizza delivery guys receive less attention from her. I should post a sign for intruders: “Burglars must read funny books while breaking and entering.” As soon as I reassured the pooch and finished the book, I went online and learned that Yours to Keep is the third book in the Kowalski Family series. I can’t wait to go out and buy the first two books in this series, because this book was so much fun.

In Yours to Keep, Emma Shaw finds herself in a bind, because she’s told so many white lies to her grandmother about an imaginary boyfriend, she now has an imaginary fiancé and must produce said fiancé for Grandma’s visit from Florida. To make matters worse, she gave the imaginary boyfriend the name of a real person from her town – Sean Kowalski. That hasn’t been a problem in the past, because Sean’s been in the army fighting in Afghanistan, but Sean’s just returned home to New Hampshire to see his family only days before Grandma’s coming to see Emma. Sean no sooner gets settled in an apartment above his cousin’s bar than Emma knocks on his door and asks him to pose as her fake fiancé. Not surprisingly, he thinks she’s nuts. Fortunately for us, he decides to help her out, since he hasn’t decided what to do with his life now that he’s out of the army. Working part-time for Emma’s landscaping company will give him some time to ease back into civilian life.  

There are so many things to like about this novel! The relationships between the protagonists and the secondary characters really sold me on it, especially the interaction between the guys. Sean’s cousin Kevin starts the book with, “Still as ugly as ever, I see,” when Sean comes into his bar. The dialogue between the male characters just rings true, not to mention that it’s hilarious how they rib each other. At one point Sean begs Emma not to mention a certain phrase concerning his (ahem) privates, because he knows the guys will never, ever let him live that one down. Sean’s family enters whole-heartedly into the charade, even going so far as to bribe the kids to play along, which creates too many awkward situations for Emma’s peace of mind but lots of fun for us readers!

I also really love the way Sean and Emma’s relationship develops during the month-long visit. I’ve always preferred romances where the couple comes to care for each other over time, rather than falling in lust at first sight. These two begin as complete strangers, but Emma’s determined to make the charade work. She’s a compulsive organizer and presents him with a spiral-bound notebook chock-full of important information he needs to know about her. Sean thinks he can wing it – what type of man actually reads directions? - but soon realizes his error when he’s forced to eat broccoli at dinner with Emma’s Grandma. He’d forgotten to tell Emma that he detests broccoli and has to find a way to choke it down. His solution is to leave her post-it notes with comments on the bathroom mirror. His comments are pretty darn funny but also really sweet, and we fall a little bit in love with him just as Emma does. And the sexual tension between the two heats up so quickly that Sean’s male relatives start a betting pool to see how long they can go before having sex, since the two are trying to convince Grandma they’ve been living together for a year and a half.  

Emma’s relationship with her Grandmother, Cat, is also touching. Cat and her husband raised Emma when her parents died in a car accident when she was a baby. Now that Emma’s grandfather has passed away, Cat has moved to Florida to be close to friends, a move Emma encouraged because of how much more active Cat has become. I find the little white lies that Emma’s been feeding Cat to be completely convincing. Cat is worried about Emma living alone in a big house, and Emma’s “having a boyfriend” around to help has reassured her that Emma’s okay on her own. Emma realizes that Cat is happy in Florida and doesn’t want her to give up her life with her friends just so Emma won’t be alone. I did find the fake engagement part to be a stretch, because surely Emma had to realize that once she told Cat she was engaged Cat would want to meet him, but I can see how the little lies just kept building until the situation took on a life of its own.

The only complaint I have about the book is that Emma is completely stressed out nearly the entire novel. She’s worried about Cat learning the truth and frets about wanting to buy the house from her. Several times she starts compulsively cleaning, at one point going so far as to push the fridge out from the wall and clean the coils. Who does that?!?! It was definitely a sign of how much Sean had come to care for her when he catches her vacuuming the fridge coils and convinces her to go to lunch with him instead. Between her anxiety about the charade and the sexual tension she and Sean give off, she’s a bundle of nerves most of the book. However, I think this just made the ending all the more effective, as it was a release of tension for the reader as well.

This was a fun contemporary romance, and I was sad it ended so quickly. I’m definitely looking forward to catching up on the other Kowalski males and how they fell for their wives in books 1 and 2. I highly recommend this book - just make sure you don’t read it while drinking any sort of beverage, as it’s sure to cause problems!

Here There Be Dragons

Recently I’ve read several fun new releases featuring dragon shifters, so I thought I’d do a quick review of some dragon themed books. I have to admit that years ago it never would have occurred to me to read books about werewolves, much less dragons, but I’ve really enjoyed them. These authors have created intriguing fictional worlds and it makes for some great escapism. Check them out!

Thea Harrison’s Dragon Bound

I found this novel to be really clever. The author has used several familiar tropes (shape-shifters, mates, the fae) in creating her fictional world, but she puts a spin on these to create new and captivating characters. These characters are really appealing, which for me absolutely sells this book, and I can’t wait until September when the second novel of the series is released. The heroine of Dragon Bound, Pia Giovanni, is blackmailed by an ex-boyfriend into stealing from the most powerful dragon in the world, Dragos Cuelebre. He’s a Wyr, a shape-shifter, and Pia is half-wyr. Pia and Dragos meet because she steals a penny from his horde. In one of the many humorous moments, Dragos reads the note she left apologizing for the theft: “I’m sorry I had to take your penny. Here’s another to replace it.” Dragos hunts her down and discovers her to be as intriguing as her note. Over the course of the novel the two fall in love, and the sparks between them fly. The novel is action packed and sexy, plus full of surprises. Late in the novel we learn exactly what Pia’s other “half” is, and the wonder that the other characters experience at the revelation is almost equal to that of the reader. This jaded reader was certainly surprised, and that is unusual these days. I highly recommend this one!

Keri Arthur’s Mercy Burns

This is the second novel in Keri Arthur’s Myth and Magic Series, and the first novel of hers that I’ve read. The protagonist, Mercy, is half human and half dragon, and she’s helping a friend discover what happened to her sister. Unfortunately, Mercy and her friend are attacked and the friend does not survive. Mercy persists in looking for the truth behind the murders and discovers a conspiracy that could change the dragon world forever.

This wasn’t a bad novel; it just didn’t grab my interest the way the others did. Mercy’s character has experienced considerable abuse at the hands of the dragons because she’s “draman” (half human, half dragon), and she talks a lot about that abuse. Unfortunately I felt that the world of the dragons was a little underdeveloped. I would have liked to have seen one of the dragon communities that Mercy talks about, not just see her interact with other dragons in the human world.  She is aided in her search for answers by a dragon called “Muerte”, and we learn a little about his role in the dragon world, but I just wasn’t drawn into their relationship the way I was with the other books. I might check out the sequel at the library, but I’m not sure I’d purchase it. In fact, I didn’t even realize this was part of a series until the very end, and after reading reviews of the first novel, I’ll definitely be skipping it.

Allyson James’ Firewalker

Allyson James has two series about dragon shape-shifters; this one is the second in her Stormwalker series. Ms. James also writes historical romances under the name Jennifer Ashley, which are a lot of fun, so if dragons aren’t your thing but velvet and lace are, check her out! I read Stormwalker some time last year, but I didn’t realize that the sequel was out until I saw it at the library this weekend. This is actually better than the first book, and I enjoyed the first one considerably. Janet Begay, the heroine, is a stormwalker. She can channel the power of storms, but (spoiler alert) in the first novel we learn that her mother was literally from hell and Janet has inherited her mother’s powers. Janet’s boyfriend, Mick, is a dragon shapeshifter, and he was ordered to kill Janet to prevent her mother from ever escaping hell, but clearly decided not to comply with his orders, since we have a sequel. In this second novel, Mick is facing the consequences of his decision and Janet is fighting the growing power within her.

I really like how Ms. James uses Native American mythology and dragon lore in this novel. The character of Coyote is, as he should be, quite the trickster, and the dragons are really snooty. Janet and her magic mirror supply this urban fantasy (can it be urban fantasy if it’s in the desert?) with its required snark, and are just a lot of fun to read. Janet grows as a character in this novel, learning about her powers but also figuring out that she does in fact possess the strength to control them. I’m looking forward to future installments of this series, and I’m not sure I could have said that after the first book in the series.

G.A. Aiken’s Last Dragon Standing

As much as I loved Thea Harrison’s Dragon Bound and continue to re-read it, G.A. Aiken’s Last Dragon Standing is far and away one of my favorite shapeshifter books. G. A. Aiken is actually the pseudonym used by Shelly Laurenston when writing her Dragon Kin series, and I love to read her books because they are so very, very funny. This particular novel features the beautiful and spoiled dragon princess Keita, and how the author can take a stunningly beautiful spoiled brat and make her so very appealing is proof of the author’s skill. Keita is unabashedly self-centered, but as the hero Ragnar learns, Keita’s narcissistic tendencies are exaggerated for effect. In fact, she uses her over the top personality and good looks to spy for her country and protect the throne, despite Keita’s complicated relationship with her mother, the dragon queen. Ragnar is a Lightning dragon from the north, while Keita is a Fire dragon from the south, but somehow they manage to get together despite Ragnar’s superiority complex and Keita’s fear of commitment. This novel is the fourth novel in Aiken’s Dragon Kin series, and several of the characters from previous novels make appearances. You don’t have to have read the others to follow along, but you’ll definitely enjoy this more if you’ve read the others first. The relationships between the dragon family members make this series a hoot, and I highly recommend it.