Should I give up on Medieval Romance? Or, Lack of Personal Hygiene is Not Romantic

It seems like the last week or so I’ve been reading a lot of romantic suspense, so I decided to change things up a bit and try something completely different. I went to my Kindle (always dangerous) and started looking through the Kindle store for books by authors I liked and discovered that Madeline Hunter has written several books I hadn't read yet. Now, I loved Ms. Hunter’s Rarest Blooms series after I discovered the books at the library, so I thought I’d give one of her earlier books a try. I chose By Possession, and after putting it down, then picking it up, then putting it down again, I realized that maybe I should have read the back blurb a little more closely, because it’s a medieval romance. And the problems I had with the book are not in any way related to the writing – Ms. Hunter does a wonderful job and clearly has researched her topic. Unfortunately, reality and medieval times just don’t strike me as romantic. I mean, no one brushed their teeth, for goodness sake! Also, there were no flush toilets, which is just gross, and people smelled really bad. If you were really lucky and had money, you could afford to bathe once a month and had perfume to cover the stink the other 29 days of the month. That’s just nasty. And I can’t help thinking about that when the hero and heroine start to DO the nasty, because I’m wondering if they’ve bathed recently or have lice or anything, which is a total mood killer, let me tell you!

Of course, most romance novels with medieval settings don’t mention that sort of thing, and really, neither do contemporary romances. Who wants to think about toilets in a romance novel? But when I’m reading a contemporary, I pretty much assume that the hero wears deodorant and brushes and flosses, so no problems there. The real problem with medieval romances for me is the way the women are treated. If the book makes any sort of attempt to be true to the period, women have no control over whom they marry or are allowed to own personal property, which is just awful. And that was the problem I ran into when I was reading Madeline Hunter’s By Possession. The hero is a nobleman and the heroine a bondwoman – or is she? You see, there’s some doubt about her actually belonging to him. She claims to have been freed earlier and almost everyone agrees, but the hero claims that’s not the case. So she’s stuck. This doesn’t strike me as a very loveable quality in one’s hero, am I right? Yeah, I pretty much wanted to stab him in his well-fitted tunic and hose, but alas, that was not what happened. The book does get much better, even for my modern sensibilities, but I decided that maybe I should just stay away from medieval romance for awhile.

Then I remembered that I’ve read medieval romances by two of my favorite authors ever, Amanda Quick and Christina Dodd, and even LOVED them, so maybe medieval romance isn’t so bad. Also, one of my all-time favorite mystery series is Ellis Peters’ Brother Cadfael books, which are wonderful and occasionally have romantic elements. And that prompted me to rethink my decision to give up on medievals. Here are 4 mini-reviews of medieval romances that I did like, including the not-as-bad-as-I-made-it-sound By Possession.

Christina Dodd Candle in the Window

This is one of the first books by Ms. Dodd I read, and it’s a real charmer. It also has the dubious distinction of having a cover with a heroine with three arms when first printed. (Check out the picture to the left.) Fortunately it’s been reprinted many, many times and the lovely Lady Saura of Roget no longer has an extra appendage (ahem). It takes place in 1153 in England, where Lady Saura is considered one of the most beautiful women in all the country. She’s been summoned to help Sir William of Miraval learn to deal with an injury that has caused him to go blind. Sir William is appropriately hunky and she’s not your typical medieval wench, so sparks fly. Lady Saura is an unusual heroine, because she’s been blind from birth, and I love watching her whip Sir William and his household into shape. Competent women of any time period are truly appealing, and Lady Saura is a real gem. Quite frankly, Ms. Dodd’s delightful sense of humor makes this one a lot of fun to read and led me to spend a lot of money I didn't have on her other books.

Amanda Quick’s Desire

While I’m no expert, I believe this is probably the least “realistic” of the medieval romances I’m listing here, but if you read romance for realism, you’re just crazy. Who does that? The novel begins with Lady Clare from the remote British Isle of Desire having written to her liege lord, asking him to send her several suitors so that she may choose one for a husband. Instead of listening to her requirements, which include that her suitors be of medium stature, pleasing disposition, and a man of learning, Thurston of Landry sends her one suitor – his son, Sir Gareth of Wyckmere, aka the Hellhound of Wyckmere. If you’re thinking that any guy nicknamed “Hellhound” probably isn’t of medium height or of pleasing disposition, you’d be right. At least that’s how it seems to Lady Clare when she meets Sir Gareth, but appearances can be deceiving. Ms. Quick (aka Jayne Ann Krentz) writes some truly hilarious scenes, particularly the wedding night.

Amanda Quick’s Mystique

This and Desire are the only medieval romances that Ms. Quick has written, and this is my favorite of the two, even though Desire is a hoot. I love Mystique because the heroine is quite talented at working around the limited choices she has. She wants to go to a convent to study rocks and minerals, but her uncle will not allow that. When Lady Alice’s father died, his lame son was deemed unable to defend his lands properly and the lands reverted to Alice’s uncle. Yet despite this, Lady Alice manages to make her uncle pay and drives off several unwelcome suitors. It’s only when Sir Hugh the Relentless arrives, searching for a green crystal, that Alice is able to escape her Uncle’s home. Sir Hugh makes a bargain with the intrepid Lady Alice that she will pose as his fiancée until they recover his green crystal and then she can retire to a convent, but he actually plans on convincing her to become his wife in truth. While in general medieval men may not have appreciated intelligent women, it’s a pleasure to see Sir Hugh’s appreciation of Lady Alice's many interests.

Madeline Hunter’s By Possession

By now you may have decided to give Ms. Hunter’s medieval romance a pass after reading that the hero, Addis de Valance, refuses to admit that Moira Falkner is a free woman so he can keep her near, but that would be a mistake. Of the four books mentioned here, By Possession is by far the most “realistic” in how the medieval men and women interact with one another. It’s set in the 14^th century during the reign of King Edward II, and in addition to the realistic gender relations there’s also a lovely description of London at the time. When I say lovely, I mean gross, but let’s face it, pretty much every town of any size in medieval Europe had to be pretty rank. Two words – no sewers! But despite the harsh realism surrounding Addis de Valance’s treatment of a woman not of his class, their romance is both touching and sensual. There were plenty of moments when I wondered if this book could possibly have a happy ending, but it all resolves beautifully and the history that unfolds alongside the romance is gripping. While this is not a humorous romance the way that the other three are, it is definitely a great read.

Some Great Reads from the Past Month

This month I’ve read a lot really great books, some of which are new releases and some only new to me. Here are a few short reviews of my favorite reads from this month. All of these books were either checked out of the library or purchased by yours truly.

Madeline Hunter’s Ravishing in Red This is the first of the Rarest Blooms series, and it’s an absolute winner. This is by far the best historical I’ve read in a long, long time, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. The heroine is Audrianna Kelmsleigh, whose father committed suicide when accused of negligence that led to barrels of unusable gunpowder reaching the troops fighting in France. Audrianna is determined to clear her father’s name, and when she spots a newspaper ad from someone calling himself Domino, she arranges to meet him to learn the truth. Unfortunately, Lord Sebastian Summerhays, who Audrianna believes hounded her father to death, also sees the ad and comes to confront Domino as well. The resulting scandal from their meeting requires the two to wed, and the two work to solve the mystery behind the faulty gunpowder. Both are reasonable, likeable people, and their romance is a delight to watch.

Julia Quinn’s Just Like Heaven If you’ve read any of Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton novels, you are all too aware of the Smythe-Smith musicales. The Smythe-Smith girls are truly atrocious musicians, and the few exceptions among them with talent can’t be heard over the cacophony of the others. This novel features Lady Honoria Smythe-Smith and her brother’s best friend, Marcus Holroyd, the Earl of Chatteris. The two have known each other for years, and this novel is a sweet story of friends falling in love. Much time is given to Honoria’s relationship with the other Smythe-Smith girls “practicing” for the musicale, which is truly hilarious, since only some of the girls are aware of how awful their performances are. A bit too much time is spent on Marcus’ injury and Honoria’s nursing him to health, and there is very little conflict, but it is a light-hearted read worth the short time you will spend reading it.

Courtney Milan’s Proof by Seduction Don’t let the atrocious cover of this novel put you off. Ms. Milan’s first novel is not particularly accurate historically speaking, but it’s a charming fantasy and a truly enjoyable read. Jenny Keeble earns a living a “Madame Esmerelda” telling fortunes. One day Gareth Carhart, Marquess of Blakely, accompanies Jenny’s regular client, Ned, to his reading to confront her and expose her as a fraud. As Jenny and the Marquess spend more and more time together, they fall in love, and it’s painful to watch the socially awkward Marquess try to convince Jenny to become his mistress, truly the only socially acceptable way for the two of them to be together. Fortunately they find their happy-ever-after, and I’ve now added Ms. Milan to my list of must-read authors.

Candace Camp’s A Lady Never Tells (Willowmere #1) This romance has a few bumps, but it’s worth the time. The novel begins with the arrival of the four American Bascombe sisters in London. All four are named after flowers (Marigold/Mary, Rose, Lily, and Camellia), and they are there to throw themselves on the mercy of their maternal grandfather, the Earl of Stewkesbury, who disinherited their mother when she eloped with their father. Unfortunately, the old Earl has died, and the girls’ cousin Oliver is the new Earl. Thanks to the intervention of Sir Royce Winslow, the Earl’s step-brother, the girls are acquainted with the new Earl and he will provide for them to make their debuts among the ton. This novel focuses on the romance between Sir Royce and Mary. The best parts of the novel are the frequent misunderstandings caused by the American sisters, who have no clue how to comport themselves in high society.

Lynn Kurland’s One Magic Moment This is Ms. Kurland’s latest novel featuring the medieval DePiaget family. It’s a time travelling romance and typical of her style. If you’ve read any of the other novels, you’ll recognize the time travelling elements and some familiar characters from the 1240s, but that doesn’t detract from the story at all. Tess Alexander has just said goodbye to her sister, who has married Montgomery DePiaget and left her family in the present to live in the year 1241. Tess is currently living in a medieval castle in modern-day England, and she’s stunned when she drives into town to see the new mechanic and discovers that he looks exactly like her medieval brother-in-law. John DePiaget is Montgomery’s twin and has been living for the last few years in the present-day. Despite his best efforts, he and Tess fall in love and are faced with difficult decisions about where and “when” to live together. There’s a short mystery involved as well, but it’s truly secondary to the plot. I liked the book so much I’ve been catching up on Ms. Kurland’s backlist. Her books are definitely PG, so they make for good recommendations for the mothers and grandmothers looking for slightly less steamy romances.

Caitlin Kittredge’s Street Magic (Black London #1) This is the first book in the Black London series featuring Detective Pete Caldecott and anti-hero Jack Winter. A truly gritty urban fantasy with a stung-out junkie for a hero, Street Magic was intriguing and stunning in its world-building. At sixteen, Pete witnessed her older sister’s boyfriend Jack Winter get murdered by a demon, but years later she runs across him again while working a kidnapping case for the police. Ms. Kittredge’s use of punk rock and language in her dark version of London make this complex story with romance elements a pleasure to read.

Kim Harrison’s Dead Witch Walking (The Hollows #1) The beginning of the now long-running Hollows series was a bit rough to get into, but a few chapters in it really picks up and I couldn’t put it down after that. In a world where a bioengineered virus has killed off a lot of the human population and forced the exposure of Inderlanders (weres, vampires, witches, and others), Rachel Morgan is a bounty-hunter for Inderland Runner Services. She quits her crappy job for IS, striking out on her own with vampire partner Ivy and pixy Jenks. Her former boss puts out a contract on her, and the action of the novel revolves around her dodging assassination attempts while trying to bring in a big-time criminal in order to get the contract revoked. A solid start to what becomes a much stronger series, Dead Witch Walking is another urban fantasy well worth reading.

Snarky Remarks on the Weather, plus Review of Madeline Hunter’s Provocative in Pearls

The longer I live in the Midwest, the more I realize that the weather here is really, really strange. I’ve had some native Midwesterners inform me that the “mild” summers make up for the long, hard winters. I think those people are nuts. Now, I know you’re thinking that no true southern belle would call someone nuts, and you’d be right, that’s just plain rude. However, it’s certainly better than calling him or her an out-and-out liar.  First, I’ve yet to actually experience one of these so-called mild summers. It’s pretty darn hot and humid, plus the winter lasts from November until May. How could 3 months of hot and humid make up for 7 months of freezing your buns off? My answer – it DOESN’T! And believe me, when you’re out walking the dog when it’s below 10 degrees, there is no such thing as matching your accessories. You wear the biggest arctic parka you can find and hope no one recognizes the dog at the end of the leash and realizes that you, southern belle that you are, are the one at the other end clutching the steaming bag-o-poop in your mittens.  And while it is thankfully no longer winter here, today was just another example of strange weather in the Midwest. The high only got to the mid-60s, which was quite pleasant, but too cold for this native southerner to expose her pasty white legs in shorts. And yet just two days ago, it was 90 degrees. 90 DEGREES!!! Frankly, at times the weather here stinks on ice, and to add insult to injury, you must walk on said ice 3 months out of the year.

So it should be no surprise that in the winter I like to snuggle under my electric blanket (cranked up to cremate) and read sizzling romance novels. Mmmmmm, toasty! In the summer, I prefer to sit out by the pool or beach to read those romances, but my genetics have blessed me with the aforementioned pasty white legs, which are attached to equally white arms and face, so sitting outside requires bathing in sunblock. Thus I have to enjoy my sizzling hot regency romances from the comfort of my UVA/UVB protected, air-conditioned home.

Over the last week or so, I’ve read several lovely regency romances from the comfort of my climate controlled home, but I’ve decided that today I’m going to focus on Madeline Hunter’s Provocative in Pearls. A few chapters into this book, I did NOT like the hero, the Earl of Hawkeswell, but I enjoyed the writing and wanted to see the heroine, Verity Thompson, give his lordship the heave-ho, so I stuck with the book. I’m really glad I did, because Ms. Hunter managed to resolve the conflict between hero and heroine in a way that was believable and fun  to read.

Provocative in Pearls is the second novel in Ms. Hunter’s The Rarest Bloom series, which I have been reading completely out of order, thanks to the odd collection of my public library. I hadn’t read the first book in the series, Ravishing in Red, but this novel picks up where the first left off without confusing the reader about backstory or the other characters. In Provocative in Pearls the Earl of Hawkeswell is very badly off financially. Two years prior to the beginning of the novel, he married an heiress, Verity Thompson, who ran off immediately following the ceremony. She’s been missing and presumed dead for those two years, but she can’t be declared dead yet, which means the impoverished Earl can’t claim the money he needs to support his tenants. It just so happens that as the novel begins, the Earl is traveling with his friend Summerhays (the hero of the first novel) to collect Summerhays’ wife Lady Audrianna at the Rarest Blooms, the home and flower shop where his wife is visiting friends. Upon their arrival, Hawkeswell recognizes one of Lady Audrianna’s friends as none other than his missing wife, Verity. He declares that she must go with him and resume married life.

The reason I really disliked Hawkeswell in the first third or so of the novel is his stubborn insistence on reminding Verity that as his wife, she has no legal rights. He tells her over and over again that she must go with him and do as he says. Historically, this is indeed accurate, but it doesn’t make him popular with either his wife or this reader. I for one pretty much wanted to kick him in his tightly fitted breaches. We learn that Verity was tricked into the marriage by her manipulating cousin Bertram, and she believes that the Earl was involved in the plot to marry her off from the beginning. His behavior certainly seems to imply this to her, even though it’s clear to the reader from the beginning that such is not the case.

I was impressed with Ms. Hunter’s ability to bring me around to Hawkeswell’s side. From the beginning we sympathize with Verity, particularly since she isn’t a foolish young girl who abandoned her husband for no reason. Her father had left her with majority control of his iron works, and she’s spent the last two years in hiding until she reaches her majority so she can legally protect the workers from her cousin. There is a mystery surrounding the iron works, disappearing men, and possible worker uprisings that take place in the latter part of the novel, and as Hawkeswell’s wife, she realizes that she has relinquished legal control of her inheritance and very likely any possibility of helping those she considers friends. Ms. Hunter very cleverly develops this mystery alongside the Earl and Verity’s growing relationship. As they grow to trust one another, Verity realizes that the Earl will protect her from her cousin while helping her to settle matters at the iron works. Because their relationship gradually changes and the Earl’s character is revealed to be trustworthy, the romance is a pleasure to read.

I only have two complaints about the novel. The first is that early in their relationship, the Earl uses Verity’s passion to attempt to convince her not to annul their marriage. I really hate it when authors have a hero “use” a heroine’s passion against her to prove his point. To me all he proves is that he’s a smug, controlling jerk. The second complaint is that the very end of the novel seems a bit rushed. To go into too much detail would involve giving away the ending, but at the end of one chapter Hawkeswell and his friends are on a boat, searching for a missing man, and then the next chapter skips over all that happened after that point and has them returning to The Rarest Blooms to pick up their wives. It was a bit jarring, especially since the novel was so well written to that point.

Despite that, I highly recommend this novel for poolside reading! Hopefully you can enjoy reading it somewhere away from those weather nuts who inform you that “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”, or “it’s a dry heat,” or “we need the flooding because we’re having a drought.” Just remember, it’s RUDE to tell those people that they’re nuts. Let them find out from a blog like the rest of us.